Host Family: a unique experience

Host family living is an essential aspect of Exchange Programs and undoubtedly the best way to know a country and its culture. When I attended The India Youth Advocacy Program 2014 under Columbus International Program, I got the opportunity to live with two amazing host families. This article is about that experience and the cultural difference I observed between India and the United States during my stay.

When I was informed that my first host family would be Mr.& Mrs. Pranab Bhattacharya, I was hugely amused!  Who could have imagined that on a Cultural Exchange Program in another continent 13000 km away, I’d be enjoying my familiar food and speaking in my own tongue! I always believed I’m specially blessed and this incident goes to prove it!

Pranab da and Indira di, (this is the Bengali custom of addressing elder siblings) came to pick me up at the airport. I was wondering how they’d identify me but all doubts disappeared the moment we saw each other. I was warmly greeted and the affection they showered during my two weeks stay at their house is something I’ll cherish forever. They eased the process of getting used to the unfamiliar city and keeping pace with the rigorous Program routine. Indira di was up every morning preparing breakfast and packing my lunch just as an elder sister would have done back home. And even on the coldest and windiest mornings, Pranab da was up and ready at the wheels to drop me at Bob Evans on Jack Nicklaus Freeway from where  CIP Executive Director Mark would take over.

The evenings at the Bhattacharya’s were most enjoyable. Indira di, once a busy professional but now a full time home-maker, would prepare dinner while Pranab da watched the news on TV after a busy day’s work. And the totally spoilt guest that I was,  would sit back enjoying the fabulous dishes along with Pranab da’s deliberations on social and family life in India and the United States. There was much to learn from his unbiased, rational observations and soon I began to admire him as a true world citizen. On weekends, Indira di took me out for shopping. Pranab da would join us for lunch at a typical American eatery to offer me a taste of American food. They took me to Indian temples, introduced me to local Indians,  even took me to one of their community gatherings . I specially hold them in high esteem for retaining their culture and simultaneously gracefully embracing the land and people who nurtured them over the years. This power of amalgamating two diverse cultures in ones daily life is a rare quality. Most people tend to lose this balance and choose one as superior discarding the other.

My second Host family was a total contrast, which was a blessing again!  The Kimmels gave me the opportunity to explore the American way of life. Jim Kimmel had retired some time back only to pursue his various other dreams; at the moment it was a police volunteer’s training  course– quite an unusual dream indeed! Barb (Barbara) left her full-time job to work freelance as an American Sign Language interpreter for deaf, deaf-blind and hearing clients. The Kimmels gave an entirely new perspective to my erstwhile idea of Retirement and old age.

I also realized how different the Kimmel household was as compared to an Indian counterpart. For example, in Indian culture, a guest is pampered, mollycoddled and supposed to be constantly attended to. In the West, a guest is treated like any another family member hence once introduced to the basic amenities available in the house, one is left to take care of himself. On the very first day, Barb showed me her kitchen and the fridge which was generously stacked with eggs, milk, fruits, sausage, salami, bread etc. She told me to pack lunch if required. She took me to the basement and showed me where the washing and ironing was done. This was their way of welcoming me into their family. I realized then how awkward our constant attention in the name of hospitality could be to a guest coming from a different culture.

The highlight of the Kimmels’ home was Jim’s Railway Tracks. I was fascinated by the amount of effort he put into this extraordinary hobby. It was a sheer work of art and everybody back home whom i showed the little video clip of the running train was awed at the minute details of the trains and the various props along the track. It all looked so real! Jim opened the yard free for visitors every summer. I wish I could take some Indian children to see his Railroad! How excited they would be! I was saddened when Barb sent me pictures of the yard with the tracks completely covered by snow. Thank God winter eventually ends and makes way for summer to bring back life to Jim’s amazing railroad!

Dinner at the Bhattacharyas was typically Indian i.e. at 9pm but the Kimmels’ served dinner punctually at 7pm. Barb would prepare dinner and Jim and I would set the table. I grew particularly fond of Barb’s broccoli and bacon salad. One evening, the Kimmels took me for dinner to a Greek restaurant Jimmy’s V. It was a lively place with lots of people, busy waiters and tasty food. It was fun dressing up Barb in a sari one day.

Another memorable experience was the Westerville Friday Fair. Barb and I reached the Fair grounds at 4pm. All roads were blocked on Westerville and stalls with various fun activities were put up along the pavement. Families strolled by checking out the fare and spending quality time together. Young boys and girls gathered in groups laughing and chatting. A spectacular ballet performance by local boys and girls got thundering applause from the audience. Barb and I walked along the entire stretch of the Fair checking out the paintings, kid’s activities, handicrafts, food stalls and the superb band that was crooning country songs on the church steps. We had hot dogs from Jim’s stall and ice cream at Graeter’s. I left for New York the next morning. As I sat in the aircraft at Columbus airport, I remembered two lines from the Upanishad –

अयं बन्धुरयं नेति गणना लघुचेतसां।

उदारचरितानां तु वसुधैव कुटुम्बकं ॥

“‘Discrimination by saying this one is a relative and this other one is a stranger is for the mean-minded. For the magnanimous one, the entire world is a family.”

In Columbus, I had the privilege of encountering the magnanimous ones.